S.P.O.I.L.E.D

No, I'm not talking about Emma.

I know I've been acting spoiled over my Grandmother's move. I didn't realize the move was in the works because when I asked my Grandmother if she'd move to Jacksonville, Florida, she said, "Heaven's no." So anyway. She's moving, and I'm still hoping she's going to love it there.

So no longer will I get the 2 for 1 deal that I've become so accustomed to. I hate change. Really hate change when it makes my life more stressful. Most things these days send me a bit over the edge, so once January comes, it's going to be time for some medication. Not the evil Paxil, but something, none the less.

Traveling with my kids just sucks. Emma is MUCH better now that she'll sit through a DVD, but Theo? Forget about it. Anyway, I fret and stress before every trip with them: about what to bring, leave, etc. It's great going to visit our parents because we have portable beds in both towns, strollers, access to cars, and car seats for the kids. It saves on time and money. Pam's (Tim's sister) and my parents house are packed with toys, and in Huntsville, Emma even has friends to play with (which she still asks to see on a regular basis!)

My brother suggested I make the next trip be a trip to Jacksonville. It CAN work, yes, it will just require much more planning, and that's something my brain and temperment just can't seem to handle these days. I do a great job of holding it together when parenting the kids, but anything beyond them has really become overwhelming. Trips to Huntsville, I'm comfortable with. I know the routine, the length of flight, there is VERY little thought in that now. St. Louis, a bit harder, but not much, and Pennsylvania, pretty easy, too.

Here's what I'll have to bring on a flight to Jacksonville:
2 carseats
Portable crib with sheets, etc.
Some sort of bed for Emma, or bedrail
Toys for their entertainment when there
Stroller
Rent a car
Hotel accomodations (I'm pretty sure my Aunt and Uncle would let us stay with them, but I tend to worry my kids will destroy things when it's a house/place I'm unfamiliar with)

I couldn't make this trip alone, so it would have to be during Tim's hiatus, but this year, he's going to begin filming the feature he's been prepping, so any trip to Florida will be awhile off.

Also, I wouldn't feel "right" about going to Jacksonville before we see his Mom and Sister. (Hopefully, we'll be seeing them this Spring)

So, I am an admitted spoiled brat about this. I just crave easy, no complications, nothing to work out events right now in my life. All of you who know me know I stress out at just about anything, and not being on medication just amplifies it. I'm working on it.

Plus I'm now a single Mom 6.5 days a week because the Church basketball season has started up. (Saturday counts as a half day, sometimes, depending on Tim's work schedule. If he has night shoots, he's fairly waisted on Saturdays, understandably so)

To make a long complaint even longer (and more negative) YES a trip is doable. It just adds a lot more stress and a lot more money. Stress, I don't need, Money I don't have. But I do want to see my Grandma, so I'll make it work. I just won't be happy about it until I'm there.