Countdown to Anxiety
The countdown has begun. In two weeks, Tim will be unemployed. Hiatus brings mixed emotions. The kids and I love having him back. There are many work weeks where the kids won't see him until Saturday, so having him home 7 days a weeks is quite a treat! We definately make up for lost time by doing so many family things together. Yet, it's a scary time as well. Surviving on unemployment is impossible, so in the past, we've lived by putting every bill possible on our credit card. This year, we refinanced the house so we could become totally debt free. No more car payment, no more motorcycle payment, and the credit cards will hold a zero balance for the first time in a year. Plus, we'll have cash to live on for a few months. But when will the next job come? That's the million dollar question.
It's become fairly evident that Tim will not return to Medium. He finally had it out with "the asshole boss" last night, and both of them were able to get a lot off their chests. Tim thinks like a director. Not like an assistant director, and that doesn't work. To be an AD you have to shut down the creative side of your brain, and every other AD in the world (aside from Tim) feels you have to shut down your personality as well. Most ADs feel you must be a total asshole in order to do your job well. That's impossible for Tim. Tim is loved and adored by every crew member, but that makes his relationship with his direct boss suffer. It's hard to explain.
I sort of feel like God is saying to Tim, "How many signs do I need to send you for you to finally see that you should take the leap, the risk, and start directing. You weren't meant to be an Assistant Director."
So, I am beginning to feel that moving is our only option. There are a few possibilities in the works for Tim here in LA...projects in the developmental stage, so who knows. Thankfully, we'll have medical insurance for another year, but will we have an income?
It is at these times when I really wish I had a job. I still have no idea how to bring in more than $10 an hour, and unless there's a huge contingency of men/women with a fetish for out of shape mothers of two with an abdomen that looks more like crepe paper than anything else, I think I'm just shit out of luck, as I think a career as a stripper is out.
It's become fairly evident that Tim will not return to Medium. He finally had it out with "the asshole boss" last night, and both of them were able to get a lot off their chests. Tim thinks like a director. Not like an assistant director, and that doesn't work. To be an AD you have to shut down the creative side of your brain, and every other AD in the world (aside from Tim) feels you have to shut down your personality as well. Most ADs feel you must be a total asshole in order to do your job well. That's impossible for Tim. Tim is loved and adored by every crew member, but that makes his relationship with his direct boss suffer. It's hard to explain.
I sort of feel like God is saying to Tim, "How many signs do I need to send you for you to finally see that you should take the leap, the risk, and start directing. You weren't meant to be an Assistant Director."
So, I am beginning to feel that moving is our only option. There are a few possibilities in the works for Tim here in LA...projects in the developmental stage, so who knows. Thankfully, we'll have medical insurance for another year, but will we have an income?
It is at these times when I really wish I had a job. I still have no idea how to bring in more than $10 an hour, and unless there's a huge contingency of men/women with a fetish for out of shape mothers of two with an abdomen that looks more like crepe paper than anything else, I think I'm just shit out of luck, as I think a career as a stripper is out.
posted by Ramblings of a crazed SAHM at 10:50 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home