Miracle

I'm working really hard at crawling out of my hole. I'm doing it because I have to. And because I want to stop feeling the heaviness of my chest.

At church yesterday, we sang one of my favorite "praise" songs: Miracle. I managed to get the first verse out before the tears began to flow. Luckily, at my church, tears are allowed, so I didn't feel uncomfortable. Just an empty longing. I say the words, but I don't always REALLY believe them. I'm an Elder in the church, and I really feel like a fraud most of the time. Here I am helping others struggling on their spiritual journey, giving them words of wisdom and encouragement, and not REALLY believing them to be applicable to me. Really, I think I've felt this for a very long time. I believe in the awesome power of God, but when it comes to MY life, to ME, I there is a little voice that whispers, "it's okay, God. There are others much more deserving. You needn't waste your time on little old me". Secretly, I do want "Him" to waste "His" time on me, but when I ask, I ask with an "out". Do you know what I mean? I need to stop that.

"I'm looking for a Miracle.
I expect the imposible.
I feel the intangible.
I see the invisible.

The sky is the limit to what I can have

Just believe and receive it
God will show you the way, hey hey!
Just believe and receive it
God will perform it today.

I expect a miracle everyday,
God will make a way out of no way."

The TRICK is I have to BELIEVE it and be OPEN to RECEIVE it. Well, I have a hard time "receiving". Feeling as if I deserve it. So, my task for this week, is to work on being open and deserving.