Whacha gonna be when you grow up?
I saw my first play, Cinderella, when I was 4. It was then and there that I decided, "I want to do THAT when I grow up!". Having grown up in Alabama, I pretty much thought that one did community theatre until the moment they were asked from someone off the stree if they wanted to be on Broadway, or their movie. (I've had my Tony acceptance speach written for years, as well as my Oscar)
Anyway, it wasn't until my Senior year in High School when I learned you could actually go to college to study "how to become an actor!" And that is what I did. I auditioned for one school, The Theatre School (formerlly the Goodman School of Drama), and got in, and went. I went to school with people who had already appeared on Broadway, and numerous films. My claim to fame: The Blue Camel with the Wrinkled Knees in Raggedy Ann and Andy at our local Children's theatre. Needless to say, the talent at my school was stellar! Kids had been accepted to Juliard, Tish, AMDA, etc. The success rate of graduates of our school working in the "field" is over 88%. 'Taint bad.
And here I am, now, a stay at home Mom, wondering "now what" do I do?
Since I can remember, and since I realized I had the acedemic mind of a 7th grader, I've worked towards being an actor. So to completely change focus, change paths, change direction when I'm quickly approaching my mid-30's is tough. I need to work, both for personal and financial reasons, but I really don't have any skills that would generate a pay check for more than $6, after taxes. I'll have all my general ed classes if I want to go back to school for a "real" degree. (Funny thing...Yoga, which was a required class for me in college, doesn't count as a science credit. Hmmm....) AND then there's the cost of school, etc., etc.
But my biggest struggle is: what would I be GOOD at? I sort of feel like I'm mediocre at several things, but I don't SHINE in anything. Nothing jumps out at me.
I can't be a Mom and working actor. I know others who can, but I can't. I don't feel comfortable dragging my kids to an audition, having their schedule disrupted, only to ask a total stranger to watch my children. Yeah. Doesn't work for me. Then there's the "what if I got the job"? Half my money would go to pay for childcare on that day. The day I worked this year on Sunny in Philadelphia, Theo was in the episode with me. I had to find arrangements for Emma, and I had to hire someone to come with me to the set because Theo is a minor and must be accompanied by an adult at all times. So there went a quarter of my money I made that day. I don't think it's fair to my kids, having two parents in the biz, being raised and taken care of by nannies and such.
Yeah, if I had a "job" I'd have to find child care arrangements as well, I know. That presents another issue all together.
Anyway, I find myself in the same boat as most College Freshmen. I have no idea what I'm gonna be when I grow up. And who am I now, anyway? Mom. Wife. Friend. Those are wonderful titles to hold, but who is Kelley? I want to be more, and my identity for so long has included "actress". Now what?
Anyway, it wasn't until my Senior year in High School when I learned you could actually go to college to study "how to become an actor!" And that is what I did. I auditioned for one school, The Theatre School (formerlly the Goodman School of Drama), and got in, and went. I went to school with people who had already appeared on Broadway, and numerous films. My claim to fame: The Blue Camel with the Wrinkled Knees in Raggedy Ann and Andy at our local Children's theatre. Needless to say, the talent at my school was stellar! Kids had been accepted to Juliard, Tish, AMDA, etc. The success rate of graduates of our school working in the "field" is over 88%. 'Taint bad.
And here I am, now, a stay at home Mom, wondering "now what" do I do?
Since I can remember, and since I realized I had the acedemic mind of a 7th grader, I've worked towards being an actor. So to completely change focus, change paths, change direction when I'm quickly approaching my mid-30's is tough. I need to work, both for personal and financial reasons, but I really don't have any skills that would generate a pay check for more than $6, after taxes. I'll have all my general ed classes if I want to go back to school for a "real" degree. (Funny thing...Yoga, which was a required class for me in college, doesn't count as a science credit. Hmmm....) AND then there's the cost of school, etc., etc.
But my biggest struggle is: what would I be GOOD at? I sort of feel like I'm mediocre at several things, but I don't SHINE in anything. Nothing jumps out at me.
I can't be a Mom and working actor. I know others who can, but I can't. I don't feel comfortable dragging my kids to an audition, having their schedule disrupted, only to ask a total stranger to watch my children. Yeah. Doesn't work for me. Then there's the "what if I got the job"? Half my money would go to pay for childcare on that day. The day I worked this year on Sunny in Philadelphia, Theo was in the episode with me. I had to find arrangements for Emma, and I had to hire someone to come with me to the set because Theo is a minor and must be accompanied by an adult at all times. So there went a quarter of my money I made that day. I don't think it's fair to my kids, having two parents in the biz, being raised and taken care of by nannies and such.
Yeah, if I had a "job" I'd have to find child care arrangements as well, I know. That presents another issue all together.
Anyway, I find myself in the same boat as most College Freshmen. I have no idea what I'm gonna be when I grow up. And who am I now, anyway? Mom. Wife. Friend. Those are wonderful titles to hold, but who is Kelley? I want to be more, and my identity for so long has included "actress". Now what?
posted by Ramblings of a crazed SAHM at 8:08 PM
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